wuts up?

I can't stand that phrase when it is used as a greeting. I can never figure out whether the speaker means it literally or merely using the phrase as a greeting. Normally, I try to strike a middle ground with a one sentence overview of what I'm doing, but that frequently seems awkward, especially when the speaker keeps walking on or focuses on something else immediately after uttering that phrase.

It's like you are asking "Hey, what are you doing? Wait, only tell me if it's interesting to me." Either you are interested in what I'm doing or you're not. There is no gray area here. If you are interested in knowing whether my actions might be interesting to you, you are interested in what I'm doing. Once you know what I am doing, and then have no desire to be included in my activities, well, I still haven't found a graceful exit for that scenario—let me know if you have one that doesn't make me look like a hypocrite—don't try to keep up false pretenses.

If you only want to acknowledge my presence or to announce your own presence then use a greeting, e.g. "hey" or "hello", but don't use a question. If I am doing something concerning you or need something from you, I will be sure to tell you. This way, you don't waste your time fending off the people who proceed to tell you exactly what is occurring in great detail and you don't waste my time either trying to figure out whether you actually want to know what it is I am doing or telling you what I am doing when you don't care.

How are you doing? Wait, never mind, I don't care.
Similarly, the phrase, "How are you doing?" followed by the customary "Good. And you?" gets the same confusion from me, albeit a lesser amount. This phrase is so common I am forced to ask myself whether you really want to know how I am feeling or are simply trying to be polite by pretending to care about how I feel.

This may sound cynical, but I feel like you insult me more when I respond to "How are you doing?" with "Quite bad, actually" to which you reply, "Oh, I'm sorry about that, I hope things get better," and not doing anything do improve my feelings, as opposed to avoiding the situation completely by tactfully positioning yourself from stating you care about how I feel when you truly couldn't care less. It's as if you ask how I am feeling and then stating, "Oh, I didn't mean that literally. I really don't care how you feel."

I encounter the "How are you doing?" phrase a lot when at church (when I attend, that is). I will be walking down the hall and some random old guy (stereotyping a small amount here) will offer a handshake and ask me "How are you doing?" then keep walking, not waiting for a real response. I've been tempted to reply, "Good, but you don't care either way." Perhaps I should try it, see what kind of response I get.

By all means, if you really do care how I'm feeling, and want to make a difference about it since without that you just want to adhere to the social imperative to seem like you care about everybody around you, then ask how I'm feeling. By the same token, if you really want to know what I am doing right now, ask me what is up; otherwise, you waste my time. A simple "hello", "hey", "hi", or related greeting will suffice to alert me to your presence and show me you recognize my presence.